


The Can Opener Problem

by TheseusInTheMaze



Series: Kinkbruary 2021 [11]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Kinkbruary (Doctor Who), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, knotted dildo, meandering dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:15:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29372199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Yaz and the Doctor go looking for something. They find something else.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Series: Kinkbruary 2021 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139585
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	The Can Opener Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Kinkbruary day 11! Knotted dildo/fantasy toy!

“Doctor,” Yaz said, “what, exactly, are we looking for?” She stood with her hands on her hips, looking down at the piles of _stuff_ around her

“It’s a device,” said the Doctor. She was rummaging through a big wicker basket, deep enough that she was almost dropping into it. 

“That’s not helpful,” Yaz said, cross in spite of herself. “What does it look like? What does it do?”

“It looks like… a device. You know. A thing what does things.” There was the sound of the Doctor’s coat rustling, presumably as she waved her hands about. 

Yaz snorted, crouched in front of a green trunk. “What shape is it? What color is it?” She moved some old books off of the lid of the trunk, then opened the thing up. 

“It’s… I think it’s blue,” the Doctor said. “I haven’t used it in a while. Haven’t needed to.” An annoyed noise. “We could, in theory, go to Remelon B and pick up a new one, but that’s how you end up with three of the damn things, and it always feels so wasteful.” 

“That’s how my dad ended up with three can openers,” Yaz agreed, getting on her knees to better dig through the chest. “He kept not finding ours, thinking it’d been lost, then finding again.” 

“Can openers are handy, at least,” said the Doctor. “You can fiddle ‘em around, get ‘em to pick up satellite radio if you do it right. Or turn it into a device for giving a good back rub to a hedgehog.”

“Don’t run into many hedgehogs in my day to day life,” Yaz said. She found what looked like what would happen if a cast iron manual pencil sharpener went on a head on collision with a guillotine. “Is this it?” It took effort to lift the thing up, but she managed. 

The Doctor looked over, shook her head. “Nah,” she said. “Good guess, though,” she added.

“What _is_ that?” Yaz put the thing down to the side, and it clattered.

“Victorian marmalade slicer,” the Doctor said happily. “Time was, every nice household had one of them next to the meat grinder. Very handy, when you need to zest a fruit in a hurry.”

“Doesn’t sound like a very… sanitary set up,” Yaz said, and she leaned further into the trunk. That was a tennis racket, that was… another kind of tennis racket. Maybe a badminton racket? And that was what looked like a ping pong paddle, although it was much bigger. 

“People were less concerned about germs, back then,” the Doctor said. “They also died a lot more,” she added, reflective. 

Yaz kept digging through the trunk. That was a cricket bat, what looked like a croquet mallet, a set of round metal cookie cutters that were dented on one side… Yaz sighed, and then she paused. Her hand had hit something cool and smooth, just out of sight. It seemed to be under a pile of old picnic blankets, and she tried to scrabble to get it out. 

“I’m not havin’ any luck here,” the Doctor said, and she sounded annoyed. “Maybe it would be simpler to just go get a new one. I’m sure, once the missing one turns up, I can at least put it in a well marked box in an orderly fashion.”

Yaz let out an audible snort. “You’d have to label it with something descriptive,” she told the Doctor, as she leaned a little further in to wriggle whatever it was free. It seemed to be caught in something - there was what appeared to be an old volleyball net that had everything tangled. She managed to shove the blanket back, and then it was just a matter of detangling whatever it was from the mess of netting.

She took the thing - it was faintly squishy, and it was cool to the touch, although it was warming up - out of the shadows of the trunk and held it up. 

Then she made a surprised choked noise, which she hastily covered with a cough. 

“I can do excellent labels,” the Doctor said, oblivious. “I’ve got a label maker lying around here somewhere, as a point of fact. Have you seen it? I think it’s in that part of the storage room.”

Yaz kept staring down at the thing in her hands. She was blushing up to her ears, she was _sure_ of it. 

It wasn’t even as if she was some kind of prude. She’d seen sex toys. She’d even seen… more unusual sex toys - it was hard not to, when you were sleeping with the Doctor. But finding it lumped amongst a bunch of old sporting equipment felt… out of the blue.

And, as a point of order, this one was weird looking. Really weird looking. It was knobbly, and a screaming mix of blue and pink that shaded into purple. It was surprisingly heavy as well, and it wobbled. At least it wasn’t ludicrously huge… well, not any bigger than other ones she’d seen in real life. Wider than any she’d ever held in her nand, though - she couldn’t even close her fingers around the base.

_What would it feel like, to have that inside of you?_ She stared at it, bit her lip. 

“Oh,” said the Doctor, and now she was suddenly standing over Yaz, like some kind of giant.

Yaz resisted the urge to toss the toy away. But no, she was an adult. It was an adult toy. She’d used adult toys with the Doctor, she’d used adult toys _on_ the Doctor. 

So why did she feel so sheepish?

“Oh, I’d wondered where that got to,” the Doctor said, and she sat on the floor next to Yaz with a grunt. They were knee to knee now, and the Doctor was looking in the trunk. “In with all the sport stuff, then?”

“Yeah,” Yaz said, and she hated how flustered she sounded. 

“Dunno what I was thinking,” said the Doctor. “I really need to work on my organizational skills, clearly.” She held a hand out for the dildo, and she took it as if it was just… another thing. She made to chuck it back into the trunk.

“Wait,” Yaz said, because her mouth wasn’t working with her brain. Although then again, it wasn’t her _mouth_ that was pulsing in time with her heart. 

“Hm?” The Doctor looked at her sidelong, one eyebrow up. 

“Um,” said Yaz, and she cleared her throat. “Um.” She cleared her throat again, and rubbed her hands together. “Where’d you get that?”

“This?” The Doctor held it up again, frowning in concentration. “I think… on one of the human colonies,” she said.

“Human, really?” Yaz tried to sound casual. “But it looks so… weird.” 

“Oh, you lot are always finding interesting things to put inside of you,” the Doctor said. “Your innovations in all things erotic are honestly commendable. I know they’ve got these sorts of things back in your time, too.”

“What, really?” Yaz blinked. “You mean dildos?” She was faintly proud of herself with the ease with which the word “dildo” just came floating out of her mouth. 

“Yeah,” said the Doctor. “Non-human ones.” 

“Oh,” said Yaz. “Well. I’ve never seen one. And you didn’t have any in the… set you showed me.”

“I had a few Time Lord ones,” the Doctor protested. 

“They’re still human shaped,” Yaz countered.

“Or Time Lord shaped,” the Doctor said. “And,” she added, “i’ve got a bunch of that sort of thing scattered about the place. You know how it is when you’ve lived someplace a while. Your stuff just kinda… multiples and expands to fill it.”

“I’ve never lost track of my sex toys,” Yaz said fervently. She tried to imagine what it would be like, not to know the exact space her favorite vibrator was hidden. She blanched, wrinkled her nose. 

“Well,” said the Doctor, and now she looked sheepish, “I’m not always the most well organized.”

“Y’don’t say,” Yaz said dryly. “But… what’s it like?” She indicated the toy, still shy.

“Like any other dildo, I guess,” said the Doctor. “It’s made of silicone.”

“I see,” Yaz said. She was still looking at it, and her face was so very hot. 

“D’you wanna try it?” The Doctor asked it casually, and Yaz glanced over at her, saw the Doctor’s own cheeks going pink. That helped, somewhat. Knowing that this was having some kind of impact on the Doctor as well.

“Yeah,” Yaz said, before she could change her mind. “I mean,” she added. “If you’d like.” She was blushing harder now. 

“Oh, I’d like,” the Doctor said, and her tone was surprisingly fervent. 

“Brilliant,” said Yaz, and she licked her lips, right before the Doctor’s were pressed against htem. 

-*-

Somehow, Yaz found herself bent over the trunk, her breasts, pressing into the top. They’d closed it first, obviously. 

“So,” the Doctor said, as she gently rubbed the head of the toy up and down Yaz’s wet slit, “we’re probably not going to be able to fit the whole thing inside of you.” There was the coolness of the tip of the dildo pushing into Yaz’s cunt, and her interior muscles tried to pull it inside. Then it was being pulled away. 

“N-no?” Yaz’s knees were trembling, and her fingers were grasping tightly at the edge of the trunk.

“We’ll probably need lube,” the Doctor said. “Although you _are_ producing a lot of that.” Her other hand was on Yaz’s inner thigh now, and then creeping up, finding Yaz’s clit and rubbing it in careful little figure eights. 

Yaz hissed, and her back arched. “Y-yeah?” She squeezed her eyes shut. Why had she suggested that they do it, then and there? Why had the Doctor agreed? It would have been easier to do all of this on a bed, or even not in this dusty store room. Yaz was still wearing a shirt, the Doctor still had her coat on… 

There was some kind of frisson in the air, a tension that was itching along Yaz’s back, dragging its claws down her nerves and leaving her whole body trembling. The rub of her shirt across her nipples, the whisper of cool air across the backs of her thighs, the sweat dripping down her sides… it was all so much feedback, her nervous system sparking alive, and she pressed her forehead against the coolness of the trunk and tried to take it all in.

The toy inside of her was a blunt pressure, and it was big, filling her up. She clenched around it experimentally, and she sighed. It ruffled the hair on her face, and then the toy was being withdrawn, and pushed back in.

“I can see you opening up,” the Doctor said, and she said it in such a _conversational_ way. “Just spreading to take it in. How does it feel?”

“It’s good,” Yaz gulped. “Big.”

“When I had a cock,” the Doctor said, “I used to like to watch it go in. There’s something marvelously intimate about it, isn’t it? You taking a part of your body, and trustin’ someone else to keep it safe.” She pushed the toy a little deeper, and the bulbous part - the knot, that was what the Doctor had called it - was pressed against the entrance to Yaz’s cunt. 

“Do you… do you miss it?” Yaz gasped out. She pressed her hips back, as the Doctor withdrew, and then it was back against her, and the edge of the knot was almost inside of her, before it was withdrawn again. 

“Sometimes,” said the Doctor. She was rubbing Yaz’s clit a little harder now, and Yaz was humping into the Doctor’s hand. She was breathing heavily, and her knees were trembling under her. She spread her legs a little wider, bearing down on the dildo, and the Doctor made a pleased sound. “I miss being taller, sometimes. Or when i had curly hair - I’ve had some _marvelous_ curly hair, curls you could lose pencils in.” She twisted the toy, and then it was pressed deeper into Yaz.

“Ah!” Yaz’s whole face scrunched up. “Doctor!”

“Y’know,” the Doctor said, and she pulled the toy back, pushed it in again, and now there was the _stretch_ , and Yaz grunted, concentrated on the feel. It was… big. It was a fullness she’d never experienced before, but it was good, it was the kind of good that made her toes curl and her tongue tingle. 

“I… know?” Yaz mumbled. “What… what do I… what do I know Doctor? Fuck, do that again, that’s…” 

The toy was pushed all the way inside of Yaz - there was a sensation that was utterly unlike a “pop”, although that was nevertheless the best way to describe it. She groaned, and then her lungs didn’t have any air left, because the Doctor was _pinching_ her cllit, rubbing it between thumb and forefinger. The Doctor’s mouth was humid and hot against Yaz’s ribs, and she was pressing little kisses all along Yaz’s flank. 

“You know so many things, Yasmin Khan,” the Doctor said, her voice full of affection and wonder. “And you didn’t need any lube for that, either. Or should I say, any artificial lube?” She tapped the base of the dildo, and it sent vibrations all along it. 

Yaz’s cunt clenched around it, interior muscles fluttering, and her whole body was tightening up, the blood beating desperating in her ears, in her clit, in the insides of her wrists. “Doctor,” she mumbled, then, louder; “ _Doctor_.” She was almost too full to come - how was she going to even know she was having an orgasm, when the thing inside of her kept her so open?

Another kiss, then a little nip, and the Doctor’s blunt teeth were grounding, the slight pain in her knees was grounding, and then the Doctor did _something_ to Yaz’s clit, and the orgasm was forced out of her like a demon being exorcised. She convulsed, her cunt clamped down tightly and pulsing desperately. She sobbed into the cold metal of the top of the trunk, and then she was being pulled back, her head in the Doctor’s lap. 

She was still trembling with the aftershocks, and the force of her interior muscles expelled the toy. It was slimy and cool against her inner thigh, and she’d be disgusted, when she could muster up the energy to think.

“So,” the Doctor said brightly, “what’d ya think?”

Yaz swallowed, licked her dry lips. “How about,” Yaz said, “we do that again? But in a bed. And maybe you can have a go, too?”

The Doctor grinned at her, slightly goofy looking upside down, but so lovely it made Yaz crane her neck up for a kiss. “Brilliant,” the Doctor said, against Yaz’s lips, and Yaz gave a happy sigh, her fingers tangling in the blond hair. 

Yaz’s last thought, before she was drowning in another sweet kiss, was to wonder about the gadget they’d originally come in here to find.

Well. they’d trip over it eventually. Possibly literally, with the way the Doctor organized things. Until then, all she needed to worry about was getting up off the floor and finding the nearest convenient bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Do you have an interest in Kinkbruary? You can find out more about it, including the prompts at https://twitter.com/_zaffrin/status/1352316453232504833
> 
> Also, come find me on twitter, TheseusInTheMaz!
> 
> As a point of fact, my can opener is screaming yellow and lives on top of my microwave, because at one point I too owned three of them.


End file.
